Potty Training! The Do's & Don'ts

Potty Training: The Do’s and Don’ts

We attempted potty training with Ivory twice - when she was 22months old and when she was 29th months old. The 2nd time around we were very successful - within a week, she is doing no.1 and no.2 consistently using her potty. We were quite consistent with our approaches both times and the only difference was Ivory's readiness.

Potty training is a significant milestone for both children and parents. While every child is different, there are proven strategies and common missteps to keep in mind. Based on our experience, we would like to share our guide to help you navigate the process with confidence and patience.

The Do’s

1. Do Wait for Readiness

  • Watch for signs: Most children show readiness between 18-36 months. Look for signs like staying dry for longer periods, showing interest in adult bathroom habits, or communicating when they need to go.
  • Don’t rush: Waiting until your child is ready makes the process smoother and less stressful

When we tried potty training Ivory the 1st time, while she was successful in doing her business on the potty, it wasn't consistent and she struggled to follow the instructions. Instead, sitting on a potty became fun time as she started playing with toys, books, and even with water. 

Our 2nd attempt in contrast was a super smooth sail. She wanted to use the potty and she understands the instructions. Being able to use the potty is a big accomplishment, and so every time she successfully used the potty, the grin on her face shows. 

2. Do Create a Routine

  • Consistent timing: Encourage potty trips after meals, before bed, or every 2-3 hours.
  • Predictability helps: A routine builds comfort and confidence.

We started with the every hour routine as we noticed Ivory was making lots of small pees and we try to catch them but later we realised it was too much. There had been times where she didn't pee even after 3 hours so we decided it is better to stick with waking up, before meal, after meal, before nap and sleep. This way the routine is not too frequent but also allowed us to catch her timing. 

3. Do Use Positive Reinforcement

  • Praise efforts: Celebrate successes, even small ones, with hugs, claps, or a sticker chart.
  • Stay positive: Focus on encouragement, not pressure.

I must emphasize the importance of praise! Ivory loved the encouragement and she responded to praise more than rewards like stickers/stamps. I don't think this is the same for every kid though. Definitely test and see what works better for your child. 

4. Do Teach Hygiene

  • Wipe properly: Teach girls to wipe front to back; boys should shake gently after urinating.
  • Handwashing: Make handwashing part of the routine every time.

We keep a tissue box next to the potty and Ivory actually learnt to use the tissue before she learnt to use the potty. She would always take a tissue and threw it into the potty no matter the attempt was successful or not. 

5. Do Dress for Success

  • Easy clothing: Use pants with elastic waists or training underwear, making it easy for your child to undress quickly.

We started by introducing her to underpants and how mama and papa wore underpants instead of diapers. We also showed her how cute her underpants were. Once she got the concept that underpants were for adults, she didn't want to wear diapers anymore. We even spent 2 days going commando.  It all made things easier. 

6. Do Stay Calm and Patient

  • Accidents happen: Remain calm, reassure your child, and clean up together without frustration.

We had a number of accidents but we never show any signs of dislike or impatience. As parents we need to understand that this is part of their learning journey. With the understanding, we won't be overly concerned about their accidents. 

The Don’ts

Ivory is a super timid and shy kid.  We are cautious with the ways we handle her. In the last 2.5years of her life, I've only scolded her once - it is on me as I was impatient due to some work deadline. However I could never forget her face when I scolded her. How to handle  trouble two is another big topic! Stay positive and continue to encourage even there had been accidents.  Everyone is different and every journey is different. Take your time and be patient. 

1. Don’t Punish or Shame

  • Never scold: Accidents are part of learning. Punishment or shaming can cause anxiety and delay progress.

2. Don’t Compare Your Child

  • Every child is unique: Avoid comparing your child’s progress to siblings or peers. Potty training is not a race.

3. Don’t Force the Issue

  • No power struggles: Forcing children to sit on the potty or withholding privileges can backfire. If resistance is strong, take a break and try again later.

4. Don’t Overcomplicate

  • Keep it simple: Don’t overload with too many rules or expectations at once. Simple, clear steps work best.

5. Don’t Forget Nighttime

  • Day and night are different: Nighttime dryness often comes later. Use training pants or diapers at night until your child reliably wakes up dry.

Extra Tips

  • Read books or watch videos about potty training together.
  • Model behavior: Let your child watch family members (same gender) use the toilet.
  • Stay consistent: Consistency between caregivers and environments helps reinforce learning.

Remember

Patience, encouragement, and understanding are your best tools. Celebrate progress and support your child through setbacks. In time, your child will master this important skill! Good luck! 

Happy potty training! 🚽🌟